Softly Stolen
by Ordinary Freak
Summary: ZADR! Yes, I know. Basically, Dib stopped caring about the world around him and focused on one thing. WHAT could that be!
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer__: IZ is not mine. Duh. I praise and adore Jhonen._

_**!!WARNING!! **__This is a ZaDr pairing. Simple as that. You don't like it, don't fucking read it. Please don't flame like you have anything better to do. _

_Summary__: Dib doesn't remember when exactly he got sick of it but the things that happened after that little fact were worth it._

_Other notes__: This is my first fanfic and my first ZaDr, please be nice or, at least, criticize constructively. _

**SOFTLY STOLEN**

I don't remember when I realized it wasn't worth it anymore. I was sick of trying to prove the world, my dad, and, unexpectedly, myself. It was all empty trying to force people to see the obvious. I suppose I can thank Gaz. She taught me all those things years ago.

All I remember is the feeling. Fire, burning through every cell in my body, giving my life purpose every. Single. Day. When middle skool was suddenly upon us, people started to realize. Realize how I was even crazier than before, that is.

Me? I gained knowledge in the seventh grade. The knowledge that it was useless. Futile. What was the point? Only I had the eyes to see. Of course, I took a good peek at my own brain, too. It shocked me to see that I was sick of it. I hated every moment of every fight I had. So, I stopped. Apathy embraced me like my own mother.

So, What about Zim?, you ask. In the seventh and eighth grade, he went practically insane. He tried to figure out my non-existent plan, spied on me, goaded me, tried to fight with me, and tried to surprise me. One day, as he slipped truth serum into my lunch, I broke.

"You're not going to find anything, Zim!" I screamed. His fake pale, lavender eyes widened in shock but quickly narrowed into suspicion.

"You've been telling Zim that for eight _dirty_ Earth months, _filthy_ Dib-worm. Zim does not BE-LIEVE YOOOUU!!" He shook a fist in the air.

I ground my teeth together, trying to keep in mind that everyone was staring at us. Tears of anger rose in my eyes and I blinked furiously. Zim hissed at the sight of water.

"Let it go, Zim. Let go. Like me. It isn't worth it anymore. Find another protector of Earth." Even though anger blossomed in my chest, I was calm. Peaceful. I had actually let go.

…Or so I thought.


	2. Chapter 1

_Author's notes: Yeah, this might seem like stupid Hi-Skool crap…because it is. Enjoy._

_**--------**_

Tenth grade. Hi-Skool. More bullies. More drama. More stupidity. More angst. So many teenagers should never be allowed to gather like this for more than two hours.

Things had changed. Maybe I should start with appearances.

Me? Obviously, I was taller, my hair and scythe was longer. My head, now, didn't look abnormally large in contrast with my once tiny body. I was skinny and lanky and dressed in the style that people know as 'emo'.

Zim. He also grew, surprisingly. Probably taller than his precious Tallest. We looked mostly similar, in dress and attitude.

He had no friends. Absolutely none. I don't remember the last time I heard his voice. His expression was always blank. Never flickered into emotion. At all. At first, in ninth grade, it scared me and I grew as paranoid as he once was. He never attacked. He never boasted about my imminent doom. Quiet and resigned, he glanced at me every once in a while with a look. Not a defeated look, not an angry look. Not any kind of look. He showed no emotion, remember? Just a look. Sometimes I would match his stare and, honest-to-goodness, one time it lasted all of class. Most of the time, it was only a glance.

As for me, I had only one true friend. Her name was Lydia and she knew most everything about me. She was completely different from everyone else but at the same time, just like them. She tried real hard to be my bestest friend and so far, she was doing a good job. She was wonderful at knowing what kind of mood I was in and how to react to it. So, when I was ready to kill myself, she was ready to make me laugh. When I felt like killing other people, she was there to take my spleen, pet it, tell it that, soon, the world was gonna end anyway, and make me laugh. She told me constantly that laughter was the best medicine and, looking at the evidence, I have to agree.

It was about 3 months into tenth grade and everything was going fine. My past was not haunting me, no; it was far too eclipsed with other matters. I'm human. I have to distract myself. I had a semi-friend in every class, was enjoying all my classes, loving every second of lunch with Lydia, and surprisingly, when I got home, I was sidetracked by homework, music, and videogames. I was happy, for the first time in five years. My life had purpose again.

Not to say I didn't notice him. Zim. While I was happy, I think he noticed. So he tried what I was doing. It wasn't working. Every week, he would force himself into a different group every day at lunch. After four weeks and four groups, he started to dress like the group he was hanging out with. One group he stayed in for two weeks. I felt pity for him. All he wanted was to be accepted. Poor, stupid, little alien.

* * *

It was on Monday, October 25th. My day so far had been completely horrible and I was looking forward to Lydia's goofy, wonderful charm to cheer me up. I got my mystery meat lunch and headed towards the usual table. I was staring at the brown and gray meat in disgust and I looked up to observe where I was going only to see a completely unexpected sight.

Zim. Sitting. Next to Lydia. Talking. _Laughing._

His wig was different. It covered one pale lavender eye. His skin was lighter, softer. His burgundy shirt hugged his torso. He was thinner than usual.

I felt my thigh hit the back of the seat. Lydia's brown eyes glanced up, along with Zim. His cheerfulness was gone in a blink of an eye to be replaced by the blank mask I knew so well.

"Dib!" Lydia's voice broke through the fog of the staring contest with Zim. My gaze dragged to her. Her smile was slightly tense around the edges, a warning to me, I was sure. Her eyebrows were up and her eyes were widened.

"You don't mind Zim sitting with us, do you, Dib?" She asked, daring me to say otherwise.

"Of course not." My mouth moved on its own. In my peripheral vision, Zim visibly relaxed. I felt myself sit down.

It was tense. For me. I quietly ate my lunch, my ears instinctively open for Zim's voice.

"…so I said, 'No, sir. I've already turned that in.'!" Lydia's unintentionally obnoxious laugh mingled with the empty ghost of Zim's maniacal laughter. For a few seconds, they laughed but soon only Lydia's giggles filled the air. Speaking of air, it felt electrified as I finished the last sporkful of the surprisingly okay mystery meat and I was forced to look up.

He was staring at me curiously with the only eye I could see. Though, it felt like two years (really two seconds), he asked, "How have you been, Dib-human?" The first thing I noticed was the 'Dib-human' phrase. Huh. Some things never change. But then, his voice. My god. I've never heard anything that emotionless. Not even a robot. Or…was it emotionless? It was quiet, subdued, sad, deep, and positively depressing. I wanted to hug him he sounded so dejected. _What? Hug Zim? What are you_ on_?_ I asked myself.

After all that in the briefest of pauses, I answered coldly, "Fine." For some reason, he lowered his gaze to his tray and Lydia's foot slammed into my shin.

"What?!" I exclaimed loudly. Her eyes turned to slits as she tried to communicate something to me through her eyes. I kept shrugging so she burst out.

"MAYBE! MAYBE!, you could be a LITTLE nicer?! MAYBE!, you could, I dunno, give a better answer than FINE?! It _has_ been, like, I dunno, FOUR FREAKIN' YEARS!! GOD!"

She slumped down in her seat, muttering about how stupid we were. There was silence for a few seconds as she tapped her foot impatiently on the floor.

I looked to Zim. Our gaze met.

"Um…" I said shakily, trying not to laugh.

"_Sorry?!?_" hissed Lydia wisely.

"Yeah," I agreed, "Bad answer after…all these…years."

A grin spread across Zim's pale green face, then quickly turned into a sneer as he replied.

"No problem, Dib-thing." It had old venom. Not much, but enough.

Zim stood up, grabbing his tray smoothly with one hand, revealing unnaturally tight black pants with a chain looping down to his knee.

"Thank you, Lydia-human. Nice talking to you again, worm-baby."

Then I realized something. It wasn't like Zim was serious. He was just teasing.

He smirked at the two of us and sauntered off, his hips swinging widely. He seemed to have some old confidence back because some random jock yelled, "FAG!" and Zim grinned, turned around, shook his butt in the jock's direction, turned back around and yelled, "KISS IT!"

Several people laughed, I and Lydia included.

* * *

It had been at least two and a half weeks since Zim started sitting with us and I had begun to see the changes in him. He was quieter but if Lydia was in a random mood, he would join in on her stupid exclamations. Sometimes he would grin as me in a slightly threatening way but, for reasons unbeknownst to me, Lydia would smack him upside the head and he would sigh and stare at his food, trying to crawl away, all the rest of lunch. He understood much more, I could see. He had mastered the art of human insults and human teenage behavior. Maybe Earth was growing on him. Or he was just getting used to it.

The semester ended and extracurriculars changed. Lydia and I discovered that Zim had Art with us.

I suppose that's when I started having dreams about him.


	3. Chapter 2

_Author's notes: Thank **ALL **of you that has read this and favorited it or reviewed. It means a lot to me. I almost cried. :D_

_But anyway, next chapter! _

_ENJOY!!_

**_________**

Let me clarify something. I am not gay. I've never questioned if I was. I'll admit I even liked Lydia at the beginning of the year.

The dreams with Zim only started as there would be the dream and Zim would suddenly be a part of the plot. He would walk in, do or say something random, and just disappear. It didn't really bother me now that Zim was…well, I couldn't call him a friend but he was back in my life. Only on better terms.

The first few times, it didn't really register in my brain. I would wake up and forget it, as usual. Only when all I could remember dreaming about was Zim did I actually notice. One lunch, I said something.

We were laughing at Lydia, undoubtedly at someone she was impersonating, when I glanced over at Zim and remembered the previous night's dream.

"Hey," I half-said, half-giggled, "I had a dream last night. Guess who was in it?"

"Ms. B-B-Bitters?" Lydia was having trouble calming down. Still, at the mention of Ms. Bitters, it sent a wave of fresh giggles on us.

"N-No!" I struggled to say. "You were in it, Zim."

Immediately, Lydia burst out but Zim altogether just stopped and stared at me, motionless.

I almost gasped at the intensity of his gaze. It wasn't really glaring because there was more than anger. Hate, shock, fear, and, strangely, sadness were mixed in his expression.

"W-what? What's wrong?" My voice shook. Was I afraid? If so, what was I afraid of?

Lydia stopped and stared at us, her eyes flicking back and forth as if following a tennis match.

"What did you dream, Dib-_worm_?" His voice was below a whisper and he sounded like his old self as he spat out my nickname.

His reaction was confusing me. I had actually gained information in my earlier days, spying on Zim. And nothing, in all my knowledge of Irken culture, gave clue to why he was acting like this.

"It was just…random. I mean, we didn't _do_ anything, if that's what you're worried about..."

"Stop trying to wonder what's bothering me! WHAT DID I DO IN YOUR DREAM, STINK-BEAST?!" He stood up, his hands on the table, threateningly over me. Heads turned our way.

"Zim…Zim…please…" Lydia picked at the sleeves of his elbow-long gloves.

"Nothing. You were just there. Just with me. Throughout my dream." Shock persuaded me to answer, calmly.

He glared at me then, turned to Lydia, said briskly, "Forgive me."

Then he left the cafeteria with great dignity.

* * *

I didn't see him the next week. According to Lydia, he didn't come to skool at all.

I was confused. And scared. I don't know why. For some reason, I thought he would try to do something. Hurt someone. Hurt himself. It was a stupid feeling, which had no evidence or reason to back it up. But I felt it anyway.

When he did come back to skool, I was relieved even though he avoided me like the plague. An example: at lunch. Somehow he would eat his lunch and talk Lydia's ears off before I even reached the table. Assuming he even ate his food. Freakin' alien.

So everything went back to normal. Us not talking, I mean.

Time went on. Zim talked to Lydia and shunned me. Things just went on. I worried about skool, this foreign exchange student named _Marie_, and life in general.

It seemed like there was always light, green skin out of the corner of my eye.

Lydia tried. Real hard. She wanted the misfit trio back together.

"You miss him," she told me one lunch at the end of November.

Those words brought to me the flash of my dreams, filled with his ruby eyes, his pointed teeth sometimes bared, growls escaping from behind them. Of course, sometimes, it would just be him and me and I would stare continually at his long legs and skinny waist. I would pet his antenna, he would purr, but my dreams would only go that far.

Lydia's voice drug me to reality.

"…suffering and you don't even _bother_ to notice!" She was angry. Why?

"Huh?" was my intelligent response.

A frustrated growl rumbled in her throat. "Zim. Misses. You."

"He does not."

"Yes, he does."

"Noooo…"

"Yee-ssss…"

"Oh? And how do you know?"

She sighed. "Never mind."

"No," I said, my voice lofty from disbelief, "how can you possibly know?"

"Why do you even care?" She burst out angrily. "You haven't even glanced in his direction for at least two weeks!"

It was my turn to get annoyed. "He _hates_ me, Lydia! Can't you tell?"

She sighed again, a sigh of defeat. She looked like she wanted to say more but didn't.

We didn't talk about him again until I told her one December lunch of how I bumped into him.

* * *

I was walking back from Membrane Labs (or better known to me as my dad's labs), going home in disgust at the 8,342nd time he tried to interest me in REAL science.

I buried my nose in my black and white striped scarf Lydia gave me for my birthday. My glasses fogged up and, still walking, I took them off and started to wipe them off while turning a corner.

I slammed into something that felt like a person.

It was.

And it had a voice.

"Pi-TEE-full HYUMAN! How DARE _YOOU_-oh. Dib."

I shivered at my name coming out of Zim's mouth with absolutely no emotion.

Shaking, I groped forward, trying to find my glasses.

And encountered a hand. A three-fingered hand.

I jumped, more from surprise than fear or disgust. Zim's hand slipped from my grasp and I wiggled my fingers for a second until my glasses suddenly brushed them.

I grabbed them greedily and shoved them back on to get a good look at Zim.

For a second, my heart stopped. He looked de-lic-ious. Oh, why? He was sprawled on the sidewalk, his arms supporting behind him, his legs half up, and his hair sticking up, and with the most bemused and innocent expression I've ever seen. Have I mentioned how skinny he was? And lanky?

Immediately, I blushed at the naughty thoughts in my head and tried to stand up. He stood with me.

For a moment, we stared at each other. I was so nervous.

'_Do something!_' a voice in my head commanded.

Zim blinked as I breathed, "Um…hi…"

AH! I was acting like such a GIRL! My blush darkened.

He lifted a glove-covered hand towards my face.

"Why is your face…red, Dib-thing?" His fingers lightly brushed my cheek. "And warm?" he added.

'_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…_' was the mantra in my head. My heart repeated the techno beat of a car that passed by.

"U-uh. It's a r-reaction to em-mbarrassment." I replied shakily.

He lowered his hand. "Okay. But why are you…'embarrassed'?"

Quickly, I lied. "Well, I did just smash into you in a public place...so..."

He tilted his head curiously. "I suppose."

Silence and awkwardness settled in.

I started. "Zim…" and paused as he tensed. "...about that...day…I-"

"It wasn't your fault, Diblet."

I raised an eyebrow. '_Diblet_?'

"No?"

"No," Zim agreed. "I…" he looked around, as if searching for a word, "Overreacted."

I nodded. He held out a hand.

"Friends again?"

I cringed. "Friends?"

"Weren't we that before?"

'_Were we_?' I asked myself even though I shakily answered, "I-I guess."

We shook hands.


	4. Chapter 3

_Author's notes: FORGIVE ME FOR BEING GONE SO LONG!!! D: I'm making it up to you!_

_Thanks for reading this far!! _

_:D_

_Enjoy!_

**_________________**

I was being tortured. Held-against-my-will, tied-down T-O-R-T-U-R-E!

Lydia was painting my nails. Black.

It was a normal weekend. The 'Purple' Trio (as Lydia liked to call us for some strange reason) were hanging out in her bedroom, listening to random songs on the radio.

But. No. I wasn't enjoying myself because I was being tortured with black nail polish.

I groaned. "Zim, why are you just laying there?! Help me!"

The alien glanced up from a magazine, raised an eyebrow, and said, "You are in no danger, Diblet." That was his favorite pet name for the week, by the way.

I closed my eyes in internal pain. "Any masculinity that I might've had is in danger."

He snorted.

While Linkin Park poured from the radio and as Lydia added the second coat to my left hand, I secretly drank up the sight of Zim's lanky, _wonderful_ body stretched out on Lydia's orange carpet.

I had been letting myself look at Zim in a different way. I still wasn't gay…by any opinion of myself but I thought I could admire Zim's sexiness from afar.

'_Oh…crap._' I thought as disturbing yet arousing images filled my head. '_I take the gay comment back._'

'_What have I become? What has Zim done to me? Why did I let him?_'

I groaned again. These questions plagued me daily.

"I'm almost done, Dib, dang, would you hold on?" Again, Lydia's voice dragged me back to reality.

I sighed, annoyed by the thoughts and feelings swirling around in me head…like in a blender.

Dimly, I noticed Lydia get up, a grin on her face. She turned, stepped over Zim, and went through the multi-colored beads that stood in place of her door.

Immediately, I laid back, placing my hands carefully on my stomach. I felt, rather than saw, Zim stare at me. I didn't move to match his gaze and I didn't have to. He sat up and just _looked_ at me. Like, he was studying me or something. It was weird. I couldn't decipher his look. And I usually could.

Finally he spoke. "Diblet," I rolled my eyes but he continued. "You…you are more…relaxed around me." He paused, a thoughtful pause. "Why?"

'_Maybe not so relaxed._' My brain told me as I frantically tried to make up a reason.

Honestly, I didn't know. Maybe because he was actually my friend now. Maybe I was trying to repress my feelings for him and forced myself to be relaxed. Or maybe I was denying I had feelings at all.

It was exactly the opposite.

For some strange unexplainable reason, I actually had an answer. I wasn't going to say it aloud but I had an answer.

I liked Zim. Yeah. Absolutely, positively, I liked Zim. I wanted to know him inside out, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I wanted to kiss him, hold him, and be with him forever.

Damn. That wasn't going to go over well.

I don't know why I had that sudden insight but still, I stuttered to answer Zim.

"D-dunno…" God. I was so eloquent.

The alien raised an eyebrow. That little change in his expression set my mind on fire, fueled with the knowledge of my sudden ephinany.

Now. I wouldn't say I loved him. That would be going too far.

He sat back. "If you say so."

Lydia came back into the room. "What'd I miss?"

* * *

It was nearing Christmas break and the closer it came, the more Lydia suggested we do something fun over the holidays.

Finally, our last Friday in Art, Zim snapped, "What? What do you want us to do?"

I was surprised. Zim, I guess, was just as annoyed as me.

Lydia glared at him beneath a thin veil of curly, light brown hair. She lifted her top lip in a snarl and growled.

"I'm doubting ever asking you if I'm gonna get that attitude."

I sighed. Zim and Lydia had a love-hate relationship. '_Actually,_' I thought, '_everyone has a love-hate relationship in this group._' I smiled slightly then; it was kind of funny.

"What are YOU smiling at, _Dib-let_?!"

I glanced up, wide-eyed, at Angry-Lydia, and before I could stop myself, I shot back, "Only Zim calls me Diblet."

There was a pause in which I said to myself, '_Dumb-ass._'

Then a wide grin broke across Lydia's face and she turned to Zim, saying, "What did I tell you?"

I looked to him. He stared at Lydia for a second then his non-existent eyebrows twitched down as if he didn't like what he heard.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and said loudly, "So what are we doin' over the break?"

Lydia's eyes snapped back to me and her grin grew.

"I was thinking along the lines of…a nightclub."

* * *

I didn't want to go. Neither, I knew, did Zim. We were both…not good…in crowds. He had an excuse. He was an alien. For me? Oh, I just wasn't good around people.

Yet, here I was, waiting in front of my house for Zim, Lydia, and this mysterious stranger named Thorn, who was going to pick all of us up.

I was rocking back and forth, sitting on the ground in front of the walkway when I heard footsteps.

It was Zim. He looked good. Different. His hair was spiky with red tips, bringing out the green of his skin. Of course, he wore his usual skin-tight clothes but the new addition was the full length black trench coat, buttoned at the chest, collar up. I stood up, the coat reminding me of my old style.

"Wow," I muttered, brushing dirt off my butt. Zim raised an inquisitive, non-existent eyebrow. I shrugged, waiting for him to ask for an explanation.

He didn't. Well, he couldn't because there was a small shout and several thuds before someone hugged me from behind.

I half-expected it so after a pause, I patted the hand with blue fingernails, and said, "Hello, Lydia."

She giggled and replied, "Love ya'll's outfits." I cringed at her Southern 'ya'll.'

She let go and I turned around to get a look at her. My eyeballs bled. Everything about her was neon. Yellow, pink, red, orange, green, purple, blue. I would even go so far to say neon black, even though that's not possible.

I blinked several times and responded the same, "Very nice outfit, Lydia." She struck a pose and giggled a second time.

"Thorn should be-"

A loud inhuman screech filled the air and a gray-blue 1980's Honda turned onto our street. It screamed up to us and jerked to a stop. A thudding beat rocked the car and turned into a techno song as the driver door opened and a girl with black and pink pigtails bounced out, screaming over the top of the car, "What's up, bitches?"

I could hear Lydia's laugh over the song. Thorn leaned into the car and turned off the song. Then, squealing, she ran around the car and practically tackled Lydia.

If Lydia was neon light, then Thorn was the complete opposite as random dark. The only color was her hair, her red, short skirt, and her pale skin, which there was a lot showing.

'_Damn_,' I said to myself, '_almost every part of her jiggles, from her butt to her boobs. I'm almost glad I'm…well, gay._'

High-pitched sounds interrupted my thinking. I cringed and glanced at Zim. He looked sickened.

Suddenly, Lydia shouted, "IN THE CAR!" Thorn practically jumped over the car in haste. Lydia followed and reluctantly so did Zim and I.

Our adventure had begun.


	5. Chapter 4

_Author's notes: Whee! Chapter four!! I can't believe I'm continuing this. The ride has been amazing! It's not even HALF done!! _

_Enough of my rambling._

_Here's your ZADR. :D_

_ENJOY!!!_

**_________________**

The car rise was very uneventful, unless you count how many times I desperately wanted to grab Zim's hand as he had placed it casually on the seat between us.

Eh. Right.

My first impression of a club was black. Then blinding neon lights that were obviously the inspiration for Lydia's outfit. Then the techno music that shook parts of you that did _not _want to be shaken.

All good things take waiting and that's what we did outside as the songs changed and people danced, even in line.

Awkward described me and Zim as Lydia and Thorn danced, jumped, and swayed to the beat.

"Ok," Lydia came to a giggling stop, "Pick a guy."

Thorn, smiling widely, turned to us, 'the guys'.

"Excuse me?" I uncrossed my arms. Zim just sighed beside me and moved slightly.

"Dib." Thorn stated. I looked to her, expecting a question but she glanced at Lydia.

"Hm," Lydia struck a thoughtful pose. "I thought you would've chosen Zim."

"What?" I said loudly, not exactly understanding what was going on.

Thorn giggled, a series of high-pitched squeaks, and explained, "Do you_ want _to go in there looking like two _gay_ couples?"

Immediately, at the DREADED g-word, my heart freaked out like a hamster in a wheel and I felt blood rush to my face.

"Sooo…" Lydia added, moving toward me then brushing past me to sidle up next to Zim, "I guess you're with me."

Zim's face relaxed slightly and a corner of his mouth lifted. Lydia grinned broadly at his subtle approval. I watched this in slow motion, a tiny part of my brain screaming in protest.

'_Don't be silly._' I told myself. '_This isn't real. It's just for tonight-'_

But I didn't get to finish my thought because I was suddenly aware of an arm wrapping around mine and a soft, but still high-pitched, giggle in my ear. My heart dropped to my toes.

I turned to Thorn and put on a crack smile for her.

She giggled yet again, louder this time, and said in a low and bad-attempt-at-sexy voice, "And that means _you're_ with me!" Her eyes widened by a margin as her grin turned evil.

I gulped.

The next few minutes continued as before but Thorn flirted openly with me and Lydia tried to ignore Thorn's display by talking softly with Zim. I was still bothered and a bit jealous at the two of them temporarily together.

But then we all got distracted by the muscly, tattooed doorman, who regarded us with only a raised eyebrow and jerk of the head to let us in.

The girls squealed and dove in. I glanced at Zim before moving.

He caught me and said casually, "After you."

I smiled before I could stop myself and took a step bravely into the dark.

* * *

I stared disappointedly into the depths of my red plastic cup, swirling the rapidly dwindling remains of my latest beer.

A hand grabbed my arm and spun me around on my swiveling stool. It was Lydia, her outfit blending in perfectly.

She giggled, acting a bit too much like Thorn, and said, "Dance! You're drunk enough!" She then proceeded to pull me straight into the mob of sweaty bodies that were mashed together on the colorful light-up floor. We found Thorn and Zim, already moshing away. Well, in Thorn's case anyway.

I was only a bit surprised in my half-drunkenness to see Zim's skinny, lanky arms raised high as his feet gracefully tripped over one another and his pointed hips swung in all directions.

"You look _so_ sexy," I told him. But amidst the pounding music, my slurred voice had no chance.

It was only then, though, I realized I was standing in a pit of dancing doom. I soon fixed that.

It was insane. It was intoxicating. It was dangerous.

The beat hit me with heart-stopping jolts through my body as the other synthesized sounds drove me to move.

I was lost, the colorful lights blinding me, the dance carrying me away on a cloud of adrenaline-fueled ignorance and bliss. The only thing that mattered was to move, keep the beat, and sweat.

I was brought back to Earth for only a second as the songs subtly changed.

But a second was enough to realize that Zim was grinding against my hip.

'_Oh my god._' Yes, I freaked out. But I tried my best to keep the dancing charade up.

Quickly, I took the scene into account. Thorn and Lydia were oblivious. Zim had his eyes closed, his arms still raised, and it almost seemed like he was grinding absentmindedly.

I watched him for a few seconds, noting any expression change.

There was none. His face was totally and absolutely relaxed. There were no wrinkles, almost like the stress lines had disappeared. He was peaceful, lost in high energy and emotion.

Until he opened his eyes.

He stared right into my eyes so seriously that I couldn't help but stare back.

So little seemed to happen in that intense look but I realized that it meant so much.

Every thought and doubt I had in my sudden feeling for Zim rushed to the front of my mind. I sorted through them almost carelessly then wasn't surprised as they fled and an ecstasy-filled haze spread through my head.

'_Does it really matter?_' I questioned myself. '_Do I really have to think about my bond with Zim? It's constricting and unrelenting, no matter what way you look at it._'

Maybe this thought held me in place as Zim started to lean towards me, his eyes narrowed and glassy.

It was almost like I was watching everything that started to happen then instead of actually being in it.

Zim's skinny, perfect body tilting towards me….

….my heartbeat increased its tempo….

….we moved and ground against each other, never stopping….

….his breath misted my glasses….

….Thorn was secretly watching with wide eyes and her evil grin….

….now his breath was on my tongue as I instinctively parted my lips….

….he, too, moved his lips back, the blinking light reflecting off his pointed teeth….

….my throat was dry….

….I couldn't feel my legs but could still feel Zim against me….

….his skin! OH MY GOD! I felt the ghost of his skin touching my lips….

….it was unexpectedly cold….

….I saw Lydia's arm fly up….

Her elbow smashed right into his head.

We froze.

Inside the mob of constantly moving bodies, we managed to freeze. Completely.

My right leg was in between his and his lips were barely brushing my cheek. His head was bent to the side from the impact and the most awed look took over his features.

His eyes flickered to me for a tenth of a second.

An expression I knew very well and was so disappointed to see stole across Zim's face.

His blank mask.

Quickly and efficiently, he untangled himself from me, turned and pushed through the still moving crowd.

He was leaving?

Immediately, I reacted, running after him, keeping him in my sight. Thudding clunks behind me told me Lydia was following.

He made it outside and paused dramatically before throwing his body to the left then to the right, trying to decide which way to go. He chose left and fled so fast I expected the cartoon outline of smoke after he did.

To be honest, I _so_ was not in shape and neither, I knew, was Lydia. Zim, the trained invader, was. So how did we keep up with him? No freakin' clue.

When the city lights faded away to be replaced with spotty streetlights, it was getting harder to keep track of him, let alone keep up. I kept on, worry giving me adrenaline.

We passed Lydia's house, which I knew was about 2 miles from my house.

Zim turned a corner, probably onto out street. I turned about a second later to see Zim perched on his Pak spider legs, trying to heave himself up. One of the legs collapsed and Zim cried out pathetically as his leg scraped the concrete.

My first thought was '_Shit._'

My second was much more eloquent. '_Lydia CANNOT see this._'

I went back around the corner and practically smacked into her.

We both were out of breath and so we stood there for a second, panting like hyperactive dogs and Lydia pinched a stitch in her side.

I took a shallow breath.

"Look, I'msososorryandpleaseIwillexplainlaterbutI, just me,he'snotingoodshape-"

Gasp. Pant. Pant. Shallow breath.

"-notingoodshapeandheonlyneedsme.I'msosorryIwillexplainlater."

Her bewildered expression said everything. I shook my head, breathlessly apologizing.

"Youbetterexplainlater." She gasped then nodded onward. "Go."

It took nothing more. And I was right. Zim's house was a green dot in the distance and Zim himself was not very far from his original position.

His spider legs were spazzing out, trying to carry him because it was obvious that he couldn't do it himself physically. It took most of my already diminishing adrenaline to run up to him.

He was gasping and crying out wordlessly, trying with everything he had to reach his house. He flailed when I approached.

"Gir…help me…can't see!"

He was scaring me. Why was he acting like this?! But, first, to the mission at hand.

I bent down and scooped my arm under his shoulders and knees. He was light as a pillow. His Pak tried to defend him but to no avail. I earned a small cut on my cheek for my efforts.

Rapidly and numb, I carried him the rest of the way to his house. The gnomes glared at me and followed me with their eyes but didn't do anything.

I burst through the door to find Gir watching Death Note, having tea on a floating table with Mini-Moose and a small pig. They sipped their tea innocently.

"Gir!" I moaned.

He jumped up, eyes glowing red. He saluted me. "Yes, sir!?"

I laid Zim on the couch carefully. He had calmed down and looked to be asleep.

Gir scanned him, glanced at me, then said to the air, "Computer. File video number three-eight-seven-four-three-one-eight-two."

The air in front of me shimmered and a holographic monkey appeared and growled at me.

Gir giggled insanely.

Bouncing back to his spot at the tea table, he sang, "Computer, activate emergency video number 104."

The TV crackled and L's face was slowly replaced with Zim's.

He looked me square in the eye.

"Diblet-" As he said that, I felt a small, weird lurch in my stomach.

"Diblet, if you are watching this, then: you have broken into my labs. Or you are looking through my AMAZING stuff without my MARVELOUS permission. OR I have attempted or succeeded in either kissing you or having 'sex' with you."

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Either one, if you are watching this and that last option has come true, then let me explain."

I gulped and glanced at the Zim lying helplessly on the couch.

"Dib." The TV Zim warned as if knowing I would be distracted. I turned back.

"Diblet, my Pak is most likely malfunctioning. I expect you have an idea why?"

Yes, I did and I mouthed it along with TV Zim.

"I experienced emotion. And Irkens do not have emotion. Eh, well, other than anger. And…hate. WHATEVER. Just…never love."

I glanced up at this. TV Zim was staring at me.

"Instruct Gir to take off my Pak and take it to Sub-Lab 7. Accompany him with my body. After you get there, tell Gir to put my Pak on the atomic moose booger." I opened my mouth to wonder aloud but TV Zim raised a hand and closed his ruby eyes in annoyance.

"Don't. Ask."

There was a pause in which we stared at each other.

"I trust you, Dib." TV Zim said softly.

But, of course, the moment was ruined when, on the TV, Gir pounced on Zim's head and soup-related insanity ensued.

But…

**___________________**

_Well, that was painful. _

_XD_

_Longest chapter yet._

_THERE ARE LONGER ONES TO COME. _

_Oh, God._

_Worst cliffhanger ever? YES!_

_I'm evil, I know._

_But I love you all!!_

_BTW: Happy birthday to me (April 9__th__)_

_:D_


	6. Chapter 5

_I bet you all hate me. _

_D:_

_With good reason._

_But I plead my innocence! _

_I'm young enough to be in SKOOL and exams kicked my ass, people!! I apologize still, but, there's another reason, too. I didn't have access to a computer! It was torture, I assure you!!_

_Either way, I'm sorry. I'm tryin' hard now to GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT._

_Also, how often I can get on is extremely inconsistent._

_Thank you for your loyalty, though, and your love. _

_Most of all, for reading this._

_I WOULD BE NOWHERE WITHOUT YOU!! (lol)_

_Enough stupid author stuff._

_Here's your ZADR!_

_Enjoy! ~_

_(Before you start reading, open up a new tab, go to youtube and look up the song 'Falling Slowly' from that movie Once. It's like this chapter's soundtrack! XD)_

________________________________

My ceiling is very interesting to stare at when it's one o' clock in the morning. Just make sure you have something to think about.

I couldn't understand. Zim's Pak malfunctioned because he experienced emotion? Was it love? Was it lust? Why were Zim's lips so cold?

I sighed and groaned, rubbing my tired eyes that refused to close.

How had my life changed so dramatically? I remember 'the good ol' days' when my life made sense. I chased that damn alien and tried so hard to win my dad's approval.

'_You know how it changed_,' a voice in my head told me. '_No one listened to you_.'

'_Yeah, I know_,' I said to the voice.

But how does that explain why I started to pay attention to Zim again? He was the epitome of misery to my past. I was looking to forget my past, my friggin' painful past.

'_You know the answer to that, too_,' that voice popped up again. '_He changed. He's not the Zim you used to know_.'

I sighed and turned to lie on my stomach. Very calmly and rationally, I bashed my head into my pillow seven times. Then sighed. Again.

"Angst," said my sister's voice in my head.

Okay, recap: I gave up trying to prove aliens to the world because, despite my evidence, they never listened and I got tire of it. AND I, unfortunately, started to give attention to Zim again because he had changed.

'_Even if he did change, why did I give attention? It's not like I'm friends with him_,' I reasoned.

The voice got annoyed. '_But you are friends with him! Even if you weren't attracted to him, you'd still be his friend_.'

'_Attracted?! I am NOT attracted to Zim! I'm not! I'm just…um…hormonal! That's it! God, how could you suggest such a thing?!_' I yelled at the voice.

'_Whatever_,' the voice disagreed.

Wow. Now I'm arguing with myself again…and losing. Well, at least it's not out loud.

There was silence for a few seconds as I rolled around in my blanket, sweating and hot. I tried to close my eyes and think until sleep took me but an unanswered question plagued me.

I ignored it and kicked off my blankets. I sat up and peeled off my stinky, damp shirt and my alien pajama pants.

A chill gave me goosebumps and I welcomed it, laying back on top of the blankets and tried to go to sleep again. But the question poked at me.

I sighed and asked the voice, '_Why? Why do I…why am I attracted to Zim_?'

There was silence. My own inner voice gave me answers but not the strange voice that spoke common sense.

For the fifth time, I sighed and rolled over on my left side, facing the digital clock, the numbers one, four, and eight, glowing red at me. I watched the luminous numbers until they changed to one, five, and six.

* * *

I jumped awake. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep.

My heart was beating fast as if I'd been scared awake. I blinked around my room (the side I could see) and breathed. I focused on NO THOUGHT. But, still, I realized that with my previous thinking, that dangerous pastime, I had changed.

And realized something.

I had fallen in love with Zim.

It didn't hit me right away and something in me tucked that little thought into my subconscious.

Falling back and relaxing on my bed, I stared at my VERY interesting ceiling. I closed my eyes and tried, yet again, to go to sleep but only turned on my right side, away from my clock and towards my window.

The warm haze of sleep refused to bless me so, frustrated, I covered my head with my pillow and tried again.

A small noise scared me for a second, startled me more like, but I paid no attention. One little roach can share the space with me.

A thud accompanied that noise.

Sighing, I pulled the pillow away from my head and opened my eyes to confront the noisy roach. Except…well, _it _was much bigger than a roach. And it was on my windowsill as a big shadow.

And it had antennas to match.

* * *

Of course, it was Zim. How could I have suspected otherwise?

Except, I was clad only in my boxer-briefs, completely caught off my guard, on my back oh-so-vulnerable, met my first love. Who was an alien, did I mention?

Nonchalantly as I could manage, I slipped under the covers and greeted him with, "So how long have you been sneaking in here?"

I noticed, with a blush, my voice had raised a few octaves from hysteria.

Zim's alien ruby eyes flashed as he turned his head to look at me.

"I didn't take anything. If you were worried," said he.

There was a pause in which questions filled my head. '_How did he recover so quickly? Why would he sneak into my room? Why isn't he wearing his disguise_?'

I sighed. I felt…weighed down. By everything. I just wanted Zim. Honestly. I wanted him to be mine and ohmygodhe'sonmybed.

He was, hunched over, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. He was sitting like a concerned adult.

"Um..." I heard myself say. I watched as Zim's back rose slightly and fell dramatically from his sigh.

"How come-" my voice was still squeaky. I cleared my throat.

"How come you've recovered so quickly?"

Zim's head slowly turned to look at me. There was one more sigh he breathed before he relaxed, grinning, saying in an obvious tone, "You don't think this has happened before?"

He chuckled as my eyebrows crumpled.

"Remember that week I wasn't at Skool? Why did you think I wasn't there? Because I was mad at you? Don't flatter yourself. I had a hunch this kind of thing, the emotion, would happen again so...I invented an easy fix, so, you know, I wouldn't die."

He stood up suddenly, causing me to start slightly. He stretched deliciously and I couldn't help raking my eyes over his subtle curves and slight-muscular form. His shirt rode up mischievously and a forbidden peek of Zim's stomach delighted me secretly.

"The only reason I'm here," he added, relaxing back into gravity, "is to finish what I started in the club tonight."

I glanced back up to his face in worried panic.

"What?" I couldn't help the sudden increase of the beating of my heart or how the room had gotten at least ten degrees warmer or the widening of my eyes as Zim slowly moved over to me, determination set in each step.

A sleek, sexy, non-existent eyebrow rose.

Zim was then beside me and I was limp with expectation and hopeful panic.

He started to lean down and as he was, he whispered, eyes narrowing dangerously, "Didn't I almost kiss you tonight, Dib-worm?" I felt the mattress depress from the hand that was holding Zim up and as he brought his face down, I felt my head trying to sink into the pillow.

_'This is crazy_!' I thought, watching Zim's crimson eyes travel closer, closer, closer. _'This is scary! No! He can't come at me like this! He doesn't even like me!_'

_'Doesn't he_?' Common sense asked and then reasoned, _'He is trying to kiss you, you know. There's a clue_.'

_'Oh my god_.' I thought. _'No! It's more complicated_...'

I felt myself make up excuses for why Zim was currently about to kiss me...but...

"Weren't we interrupted?" Zim breathed. His breath washed over my face and I felt my lips pucker at the slight warmth.

_'What am I doing?! What have I gotten_-' my thought was interrupted.

By Zim.

His _lips._

_**Against MINE**__!_

Before I thought, before I breathed, I reacted, arching my back, putting the smallest _push _back on him. I felt a sigh in my lungs, a contented sigh, and it traveled up to my throat where it got stuck and my vocal cords vibrated the low sound of a..._moan_.

All this, the details, the feeling that every nerve ending I had was on the surface of my skin, the kiss, the instinct, the _moan_, all this happened in three seconds.

Zim stood up quickly and I could still feel the moan in my throat.

His silhouette raised a lithe arm slowly and he brought his hand to his face.

_'Is he regretting it? Is he touching his lips in disbelief_?' I wondered wildly.

Suddenly, in a rustle of clothing, he was poised at the window, ready to jump out. Flashing me a zipper smile, he teased, "Sweet dreams, Dib."

Gone.

He was gone and I was stuck with the memory of being kissed by an alien invader. And loving every milli-second.

Sleep was never so welcome.

________________

_:D_

_Dib always fights it up until the end…_


	7. Chapter 6

_Christmas present! Yes, I suck for my lack of updating. Oh, wait. I forgot. This is a crap chapter, it's hardly even filler. EW. HATE IT. Anyway…_

_Here you go! 3_

* * *

I was woken up by Gaz.

Not that she burst into my room, or anything, but she liked heavy metal pounding into her head before nine a.m.

But, technically, what woke me up was my lamp crashing to the floor because the thudding sound had pushed it too close to the edge.

My eyes snapped open and I yawned painfully, before thinking, '_Breakfast_.'

I slid out of bed, hit the floor, grabbed a random cloth item, discovered it was pants and pulled them on. I crawled toward the door tiredly, pulling myself up by the handle and stretched, feeling kinks and cracks loosen, opening the door to head downstairs.

Gas sat at the table, sullenly eating Piggie-O's.

"You left your music on," I commented casually as the dishes rattled and clinked dangerously. I got some OJ and sat down.

"I broke my iPod," she explained half-heartedly, as if she didn't really want to talk to me.

"Why?"

"I crushed it."

"On purpose?"

"NO! Idiot-boy…"

"So…?"

At this, she clutched her spoon tightly and her knuckles turned white.

"You drank the last soda." Hatred made her words stall and turn venomous.

"Oh…well, sorry."

She growled. "I was holding my iPod at the time…and..so..much…..anger…." I noticed her spoon started to shake in her grip. I honestly expected her cereal to start boiling. Used to her demonic rage, I took a sip of OJ.

"Was the club fun?" Gaz asked unexpectedly. I felt myself start.

"Uh…yeah, I guess. Why do you care?"

She looked up at me and raised her eyebrows."Because I like Lydia and I don't understand why she's friends with you."

I nodded in expected compliance. '_Oh_,' I thought. '_Wonderful_.'

I got up then, dropped my glass off at the sink, and headed toward the stairs to possibly get more sleep but Gas wasn't finished.

"I heard from Gretchen that she saw you carrying Zim home last night."

At this, I froze, memories flashing through my head, and I felt myself get sick from my forgetfulness. In my mind's eye, Zim's alien face with his zipper grin, traveled toward me, a replay of last night.

'_I_ _forgot_! _How could I?! Gotta tell someone…um…Gaz doesn't care. Lydia!_'

Ignoring Gaz's evil laughter, I raced upstairs, struggling out of my pants, while reaching for my phone, and dialed for Lydia. As the phone rang slowly, I slid on some tight jeans and a random shirt.

She picked up. "Hel-_lo_?"

"I'm coming to your house. Now. Be there in 5 minutes."

Her loud protests echoed back at me as I hung up.

I grabbed my jacket and ran back downstairs to pull on my boots.

Gaz said something else to me, most likely hurtful, but I didn't hear it. I really couldn't hear anything, just the panic in my head.

Then I was out the door, fast walking down the sidewalk, despite the cold.

* * *

When I reached her house, I burst in with uncharacteristic flair and already started to say, "Lydia! He –"

But I paused because I interrupted an obvious sleepover.

Lydia and a cute, goth-looking girl stood in the kitchen, staring at me and my outburst. Lydia looked extremely annoyed and she shook her head lightly at me. The girl was grinning apologetically at me over her cup of steaming something.

"Oh."

"_Yeah_," Lydia emphasized, setting her own cup down. The girl looked between us and when Lydia started to eye-communicate with me, she exclaimed.

"Oh, don't mind me! I'll just…"

"No, Rain, don't, he's an idiot, he can come back later-" Lydia was protesting, much to my growing discomfort.

"…go on the computer," Rain finished, grinning at Lydia's display. She smiled in my direction and disappeared into a room.

Lydia sighed at me and I stepped up to the counter that separated the living room from the kitchen.

"What is this important thing you had to interrupt my morning with?" she said, meeting my eyes annoyed but resigned.

"Sorry."

"Whatever. Story, now."

I took a scared, shaky breath and began. "So…last night, Zim was drunk, right? And we were all dancing, remember? Well, in that moment, he almost _kissed_ me-"

"Almost?!" she squealed, perking up immediately.

"Yeah, your elbow broke it up."

She glanced at her elbows, held one up, pointed a finger at it, and scolded, "Bad elbow!" Then she looked back at me, interested.

"So, he was drunk, did I say that? And we were chasing him down because…um…he was ashamed but he passed out because he was drunk, ya know, and I had to carry him home."

She giggled.

"Shut up." I continued. "So, after I dropped him off at his house, I went home and tried to fall asleep but, you know, he almost freakin' _kissed_ me! So I was replaying it over and over, thinking about it, basically until I fell asleep. Something at my window woke me up, and LO AND BEHOLD, it was Zim!"

"AW!!" she cried. "That's so cute!!"

I sighed shakily, reliving it in my mind with difficulty and continued, "So, of course, I'm confused and he explains, saying that he wanted to 'finish what he started at the club!' " I used air quotes as Lydia clapped her hands to her mouth, hiding a smile of pure enjoyment.

"And, guess what? He comes over to me; all seductive-like, leans down, and kisses me!!"

She screamed, "OHMYGOD. Did you kiss back!?"

I blinked. "What? Um…does it really matter?"

"YES."

I rolled my eyes. "Well…yes."

She laughed and shrieked. "YAY! Are you- wait." She paused for a moment, looking off into space, then turned her attention back to me.

"Do you like Zim?"

I felt my eyes widen and I swallowed. "Um…well…I- there's…um…"

She probed with her eyes, a look of confused wonderment passing across her features.

"Dib. Do you like Zim?"

I started to say something, my mouth opening and motioning uselessly, before closing it and simply nodding.

She exploded, throwing her hands up. "Why am I just hearing about this now?!"

Lame excuses filled my head. "I…forgot…"

"How _long_?"

"What?"

"How _freakin'_ long have you liked him?!"

"Um…" I tried to remember. "Since our fight…with the dreams…"

Her eyes almost popped out of her head. "That long?"

"It's…not long…just-"

"Does-!" She paused and cleared her throat, calming down. "Does he, you know, like you back?"

"Well, he kissed me. That could be a clue…"

"But, do you know?"

"What?"

"If he absolutely does."

"He…hasn't actually told me, if that's what you mean…"

She got exasperated again. "Then you can't know!"

"But-" I tried to get my say in but she was having none of it.

"Look," she said seriously, "you should have unreasonable doubts than real, tangible doubts."

I didn't understand. "I don't understand."

"Go tell him! Confess!"

That was the last thing I expected. "WHAT? NO!"

"Are you waiting for him to come to you?" she asked and before I could answer, she continued, "He's not gonna do that and you know it."

"But!" I started indignantly, despite my lack of argument. "Going to him…desperate…"

"And you're not?" she countered. "You like him, he kissed you, you're confused. You have the right to go to him!"

"But…this is scary…"

"Love often is."

"I never said-!"

She snorted. "_Please_. I can tell."

I deflated, staring at her. We looked at each other for a moment, her eyes encouraging, mine debating.

"What are you gonna do?" she asked.

I stared again, calculating the inevitable, and whispered, "Go to him."

"GO!" she screamed and, like a racehorse; I jumped and scurried towards the door but paused.

"Thanks, Lydia."

She grinned mischievously and growled, "Go get 'em, tiger."

I smiled, unable to manage a laugh and started my way back to go confront him.

Zim.

* * *

_Hee, hee. Juicy chapter coming. :D_


	8. Chapter 7

_FEEL HONORED!! _

_Here you go! *heart goop*_

* * *

When I got there, I stopped and stared at the house. I don't really know why. I just did. My gaze wandered from the gnomes to the flamingo to the 'I heart Earth' flag that made Lydia laugh the first time she saw it.

I stared at the annoying conspicuous color of the house, the obvious unnatural shape and, most of all, the two apartment buildings on either side whose walls were cracked from the thick wires that were forcefully shoved in, connected to Zim's house.

'_How could no one see?_' a small, lamenting thought in my head cried.

But I wasn't here for that. Proving to the world that Zim was an alien was a long, lost part of me I never wanted to dwell on.

Finally, I noticed, with a start, that I didn't know how to get past the gnomes. Well, no, obviously, I _knew_ how but I didn't want to break in to tell Zim I loved him. Wouldn't be the best idea.

I picked up a rock on the sidewalk and tossed it up the walkway. The gnomes didn't move.

A cat meowed randomly at me from an alley and I encouraged it to come closer. When it purred up to me, I pet it for a moment until it rubbed up against my leg. I then leaned over and picked it up. As it purred, I cooed at it a bit more and tossed it on the walkway. It landed casually, paused, and started to lick itself.

The gnomes turned slowly to it and I tensed, expecting the worst. The gnomes, however, just scanned it with visible pink graph lines running across its fur. A gnome popped out of the ground and I flinched but it just lasered off a bit of fur. After that, all done quickly and routinely, the gnomes went back to their positions.

I stared. The cat wasn't disturbed at all. It finished its business, stood up, saw me again, and meowed.

"Well then," I muttered to myself. That was all the tests I could perform.

Cautiously, I placed one foot on the walkway. The gnomes did nothing. I continued, one foot over another again and again until I reached about halfway, where, startled, I was scanned on a larger scale as four gnomes popped out, scanned me and one lasered off a bit of my scythe.

"Hey!" I protested and almost swatted it but caught myself. They could react to violence.

I was scanned one more time then the gnomes slid back into place. I sighed shakily as I realized that was the easy part.

I went up to Zim's door with the men's bathroom sign hanging from it and knocked.

'_I never thought I'd be _knocking_ at Zim's door. Breaking it down, more like_,' I thought.

I waited a second more, my heart racing, my nerves crackling, my fingers dancing nervously on my leg. I swallowed and sighed, considering knocking again when the door opened.

Almost every muscle in my body tensed spasmodically and I met Zim's surprised look with a panicked expression. I thought Gir would have answered the door. And, for some reason, Zim was wearing his disguise.

Then I realized I was standing in awkwardly at Zim's door and had not said a thing,

"Hi," I choked out. My palms broke out in a sweat, my heart had a seizure and my fingers, along with my hand, started to shake.

I gulped as he stared at me, blinking. I took a strangled breath, put on a half-crack smile, and rambled, "Sorry to disturb your morning…"

He laughed. It scared me and I jumped.

"You sound like a salesman," He commented randomly and opened the door wider. "Come on in." He turned and walked further in the house, leaving me and the door.

He trusted me! He trusted me to come in and close the door and…he was acting like we were friends! Like this happened all the time!

He paused, turned around, and fixed me with a stare. "You _are_ going to come in?"

I swallowed and said, "Uh…I d-dunno. It _is_ pretty comfortable out here."

I smiled as he laughed again. I went in and closed the door behind me. Zim was doing something in the kitchen so I raked my eyes over the living room; the wire-tangled jungle of a ceiling, the portrait of a lime green monkey above the pink couch and the giant purple TV.

He came back and said, "Outside is very inferior to the amazingness of my base."

I grinned and reflected, "This is probably the first time I've been here on more…peaceful…terms."

"Hmm," Zim muttered, an expression of thought going across his face. "An interesting change, yes?"

I nodded in agreement.

There was another tense awkward pause in which we stared at each other. But it was comfortable. It was quiet. I was nervous, yes, but determination was giving me bravery.

"Why are you here?" he asked softly.

I blinked and took a breath. I almost advised him to sit down but caught myself. My gaze traveled down to his shoes and I stared. He was wearing fake, look-a-like Vans with the black and white checkers. A few white squares were colored in. I guessed Lydia did it. She would.

"Did you come to talk?" Zim questioned. I looked back up at him and nodded.

"The topic being…?" He sounded annoyed, like he was impatient at me for not speaking.

"Last night," I finally said.

"Oh…" he muttered and sat down on the couch.

'_Okay, I set myself up and this is my chance to explain, to let it out._' Except I didn't know what to say. All that was racing through my mind was why. Why did he kiss me? Why is he being friendly? Why was he a friend with Lydia? Why, why, why, why, why, why?!?

I started to pace. I needed to get myself under control. Going into a delicate situation all hysterical was not going to solve anything, I needed a clearer head. But was love ever clear? Could you have a transparent view of love?

I felt Zim watching me, so I started, dove in, with no chance of going back.

"Did you know," I said, my voice raised in pitch and volume _already, _"that I've liked you for a while?"

Zim scoffed. "How could you not? Everyone loves ZIM!"

I stopped pacing and stood in impatience. "Not…like that. More than an…acquaintance. More than a friend-"

He interrupted. "I understand your meaning."

We stared at each other for a moment, the air between us leaden with tense possibilities. I felt like I was on crack and he looked calm and collected, like he was politely listening.

I started to pace again. I could feel my heart beating faster, feel the frustration in my chest of not knowing how to say what I needed.

"Ever since the fight with the dreams, I've been having these thoughts of you. So," my voice was still raising in pitch and volume, "imagine, Zim, imagine my surprise when you come to the club and, in the mob of craziness, you start to grind against me-!"

"I don't understand that phrase," Zim interrupted again.

"What?!" I snapped. The frustration was a monster in me and it wanted _out_.

"This…" Zim circled a hand in the air, "grinding."

I almost growled at him. How DARE he be so casual! But I answered him anyway.

"Moving your hips _up_ against something in a repeated motion. _Thrusting_."

He nodded in understanding.

I couldn't explain why I was getting mad. Maybe at myself. But it was eating me alive.

"So!" I practically yelled. "You're grinding against me and I don't know what to make of it!" My pace quickened. I dared not look at him. "There's a surprise! THEN you start to lean down towards me and I think, 'Is he going to kiss me?' The answer is…" I stopped and looked at him. He was still sitting all cool and collected but a look of mild concern had etched into his features.

"YES!" I screamed and continued my frantic pacing. My adrenaline was pumping like nobody's business. I opened and closed my hands like a lobster. The living room felt too small.

"But, Lydia's elbow interrupted our moment! And, with sense finally knocked into you, you dash out the door! Why? BECAUSE!" I shrieked, "you, as an alien, apparently, can't handle emotion! So, SILLY ME, I pity you and take you home! Less than two hours later, you are at my window, sitting on my bed!"

My anger was ferocious now. I wanted to rip something apart.

"I'm confused, Zim, especially when you want to finish what you started at the club! So, you lean down and…" I stopped and looked at him. He seemed alert now, sitting up straight at the edge of the couch and panicked unease stamped into his expression.

"You! KISS! Me!" I roared at him, with all my anger had.

He stood up.

I folded my arms and relaxed, leaning weight on one leg, containing my anger for the time being.

"So…" I said, casually, "Why? Why did you kiss me?" Zim took a step toward me cautiously, like I was a bomb. His eyes were narrowed and his eyebrows, nonexistent, were wrinkled.

"Because," he answered, in a low voice, "I wanted to."

"What," I snapped at him, "kind of answer is that?"

He took another step and lifted his arms slightly like he planned to grab me should I do anything.

"You're not asking the right question," his voice was even lower than before.

"Okay," I said, tapping my foot in angered impatience. "You kissed me because you wanted to. Why did you want to?"

His expression flickered to livid immediately. He grabbed my upper arms tightly. I didn't struggle, just matched his glare.

"How much more obvious do I need to be?" he asked me, shaking me a little.

"What are you talking about?" I felt a small piece of self-righteous ignorance begin to form. I was mad for the wrong reasons.

"You don't _get it_, filthy earthworm?" he questioned with another light shake.

"What-!?" But I was interrupted. Again.

He was kissing me. Again.

But now I was even more confused.

He let go of my trembling self and made me face him. "Does that answer your question?!"

"No!" I shouted. "What was that?"

"It's called a kiss, Dib-filth. You should-"

"I know, you idiot! What is making you kiss me beside want?!"

He paused, staring furiously at me, his eyes doing their usual, one eye narrowed, the other completely open.

"Say it," he commanded.

"Say what?" I asked suspiciously.

"What you need to, you stupid, stinky human!"

I was starting to squirm in his grip. "How the hell do you know what I need?"

His hands clenched against my arms uncomfortably tight, almost to the point of pain. He yelled in my face.

"Because it's eating you alive! It's making you confront me with so much ANGER! It's ruining your simple, pointless life! ZIM can see it in your dull, stupid eyes! I can hear it in your idiotic voice! SAY IT!"

By now, I knew what he was getting at. He _knew_…

I didn't want to admit it to him…not like this…

"You don't know!" I struggled and screamed.

"HAVE YOU THE BRAINWORMS? How could you tell the amazing ZIM that?!" He was trying to catch my eye but I couldn't look at him. I couldn't stand him holding me. This was too much.

"Stop trying to ma-!" He kissed me again, desperately shoving his lips onto mine.

"STOP THAT!" I cried and was crying. Tears were streaming down my face and I realized that the anger I felt wasn't that. It was sadness. It was fear. And I had to fight it every step of the way. Up to now.

"SAY IT!" he screeched again, trying to stay clear of my face, trying to avoid the acidic water.

I sobbed for a moment, like a hormonal, teenage girl, weak against him, before choking on the three words I had longed to say.

"I-I l-love you!" I almost threw myself on him in defeat. Good thing he was so strong.

Finally, he let me go but just hugged me, wrapping his thin arms around me, whispering in my ear.

"There. Was that so bad, wormbaby?"

"Yes…" I muttered into his shoulder.

He held me for a few moments, letting my tears dry and my sniffling slow. I pushed myself back up and rubbed my nose.

"Well, that was fun."

He laughed manically and, surprisingly, gently put a stray hair behind my ear. We stared at each other as he slid his hand down my arm and captured my elbow to pull me towards him.

"For the record, I love you, too, revolting monster of meat and hair." Then he brought me into a kiss that was very different from the rest.

We let go hesitantly when I finally processed the rest of his sentence.

"Wait…what?"

Several intensely gentle kisses later, we were cuddled on the couch; his arm around me and my head cradled on his chest. And we were staring at the blank TV. Just…staring. Like we didn't know what to do now that we had reached this conclusion.

Zim's hand was leisurely placed on top of my head, playing with individual strands of hair, curling them around his finger again and again.

At this obvious act of boredom, I decided to break the silence.

"I was so emo…" I muttered, trying to make it seem like I was talking to myself.

"Eh?" Zim reacted.

"When I was trying to tell you…" I explained quietly.

He inhaled sharply and exhaled a breathy sort of laugh. In the act of breathing, my head was lifted then sank into his chest.

"And you cried…" he murmured, chuckling lightly.

"Ugh." I groaned in disgust and twisted my head to press my face to his torso.

"Emo Diblet is fun to play with.." Zim teased.

"I was frustrated! I didn't know how to explain myself!" was my excuse.

"Mmmhmm." Zim hummed, pressing his face down on my head. "Yes, well, I did only cause confusion…and pain…for you. I shouldn't have…"

"Maybe you were scared…" I complained for him.

"ME?! THE ALMIGHTY ZIM!" he exclaimed suddenly. "I AM NOT some small smeetie that CLINGS to the birthing robot's ARM of DOOOOM!"

I chuckled against him as he ranted about his 'amazing' prowess. Eventually, he quieted down and started curling my hair around his fingers again.

"You know when I was the most confused?" I whispered, eyes closed from random tiredness.

"Eh?"

"When you first kissed me."

He laughed maniacally, as was his custom. "You were clothed in only your under-smellies! That was almost the best part!!"

I blushed and tried to defend myself. "Oh, shut up! It was a warm night and I was hot!"

Zim chuckled and murmured in my ear, "Mmmhmm. Zim agrees. You were rather hot in your under-smellies…"

My heart, which had been pretty much normal since the confession, spazzed and a new type of blush painted my cheeks. I looked up at him, he had his evil grin stretched wide for me, and I said-

At that moment, Gir fell from the ceiling.

We both flinched and stared as he stood up and yelled, "I GOTS PICTURES!"

He had one of those old Polaroids where when you took a picture, it'd pop out of the slot and you'd shake it to make it appear, he had one of those wrapped around his head.

He tilted his head forward, Zim made a furious noise, and Gir's head lid burst open and a cannonball of Polaroid pictures were shot at us.

Zim screeched and avoided the weapon by jumping up to chase Gir around while I looked at the pictures in curiosity.

Most of them were me pacing and us fighting and a few were us kissing. I looked like a girl, weak against Zim as he clung to me.

The best one had to be us curled on the couch together. I smiled at it.

Wonder why?

It contained my future.

* * *

_THE END. _

_Oh, god. Not really. That'd be a fail._

_THERES SO MUCH MORE ANGST TO DEAL WITH!_

_I know, you're surprised I'm alive._

_MISSION GOO_


	9. Author's Note of Failure

Okay, so I haven't been on in more than a year and I apologize. I haven't even finished the story and I don't know if I plan to. I will type up the rest of the chapters and get back to you on everything else. Wow. Okay, sorry, guys. I know I'm terrible. :I


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